


Codice Ruina

by SpasticCat



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, Half-Life
Genre: A bit OOC but I am trying my best, Angst, Binary code text, Change of plans: No longer a oneshot and it will be explained in the third chapter, Crucial warning: existential crisis and mental fuckery-it will be obvious when we get there, Gen, Grimdark text, I am just going with the flow on this one, I will update more tags as we go along, Memory Loss, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, game glitches, second person point of view
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24101467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpasticCat/pseuds/SpasticCat
Summary: 01000101 01010010 01010010 01001111 01010010 00100000 01000111 01000001 01001101 01000101 00100000 01010101 01001001 00100000 01001101 01001001 01010011 01010011 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000101 01010010 01010010 01001111 01010010 00100000 01001111 01010000 01000101 01010010 01000001 01010100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01001000 01000001 01010010 01000100 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 01001111 01010110 01000101 01010010 01000100 01010010 01001001 01010110 01000101 00100000 00101101 00100000 01001001 01001110 01001001 01010100 01001001 01000001 01010100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 01001001 01001110 00100000 00110011 00101110 00110010 00101110 01010111 01000001 01001000 01001001 01010101 00100000 01010010 01000111 01010001 01000000 01010111 01001001 00100000 01000001 01111110 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01010010 01000101 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 01000011 01001111 01001101 01010000 01001100 01000101 01010100 01000101 00111010 00100000 01001100 01001111 01000001 01000100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000100 01000001 01010100 01000001
Comments: 24
Kudos: 59





	1. rRrrEe6ss$$$eEeeeTTTT^24888888aq87yhe2al

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chocolate_worm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocolate_worm/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Sacrifice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24084619) by [Chocolate_worm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocolate_worm/pseuds/Chocolate_worm). 



> Hey like the tags said, ~~this is mainly an oneshot with~~ (story with) not much planned out. It was something that I thought of literally last night and had a hard time trying to sleep because of it. I have SO many work in progress stories that I am juggling with, but I can deal with it. For now, I just want to work on this ~~oneshot~~ (story) since I just got into this fandom like yesterday afternoon and want write this story after being inspired and asked permission to use a concept of an already existing fanstory called Sacrifice which is going to be the canonical prequel to this story. Also I hope the latin phrasing for the title means exactly what it means. I took latin class only for one year with struggle and I am a bit worried that the phrasing is in reverse. Can't believe I had to use google translate just to find what prefix would be used for the phrase and I am hoping that it doesn't fuck it up. One last thing, I hope the 'spoiler' box below is working it is impossible to tell using the preview button on my side of this, so the only way I can find out is by posting this. If it isn't working, I'm going to re-edit this and just make it binary coding. (Edit: Yep, changed it to binary.) Also some chapters may be short and some may be long depending on how it fits the story.
> 
> Also hover over this text to see the translation of the actual summary of this entire story: 01000101 01010010 01010010 01001111 01010010 00100000 01000111 01000001 01001101 01000101 00100000 01010101 01001001 00100000 01001101 01001001 01010011 01010011 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000101 01010010 01010010 01001111 01010010 00100000 01001111 01010000 01000101 01010010 01000001 01010100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01001000 01000001 01010010 01000100 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 01001111 01010110 01000101 01010010 01000100 01010010 01001001 01010110 01000101 00100000 00101101 00100000 01001001 01001110 01001001 01010100 01001001 01000001 01010100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 01001001 01001110 00100000 00110011 00101110 00110010 00101110 01010111 01000001 01001000 01001001 01010101 00100000 01010010 01000111 01010001 01000000 01010111 01001001 00100000 01000001 01111110 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01010010 01000101 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 01000011 01001111 01001101 01010000 01001100 01000101 01010100 01000101 00111010 00100000 01001100 01001111 01000001 01000100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000100 01000001 01010100 01000001

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright new edit: I did tweaks so that the binary and grimdark text are translateable to where you do not have to manually search for the translator. I used the command that lets you hover your mouse to the word and it shows a box with text on it. That will be the translation. Though for clarification: you all may notice-if you did manually translate the binary code-that instead of an apostrophe, there is an ^ instead on the text in the notes and summary part. I have to do that because the code I am using for the hover text fucks up whenever I use an actual apostrophe. It would get rid of everything that I typed after it. Though for some reason it doesn't give me that problem in the chapter itself. It might have to do with the 'Chapter Preface' being a different code set? I do not know, if someone understands how to fix this problem for the chapter summary and notes, please let me know.
> 
> For example hover your mouse over this text: If I didn't use the ^, then this part of the text won't be seen.
> 
> So please disregard the issue until I find an alternative, or it might just stay this way for now on depending on IF I can somehow fix this minor issue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 01000011 01101111 01101110 01100111 01110010 01100001 01110100 01110101 01101100 01100001 01110100 01101001 01101111 01101110 01110011 00101100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101001 01100100 01101001 01101111 01110100 00101110 00001101 00001010

01001100 01001111 01000001 01000100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000100 01000001 01010100 01000001 00100000 01001100 01001111 01000001 01000100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000100 01000001 01010100 01000001 00100000 01001100 01001111 01000001 01000100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000100 01000001 01010100 01000001 00100000 01001100 01001111 01000001 01000100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000100 01000001 01010100 01000001 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01001100 01001111 01000001 01000100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000100 01000001 01010100 01000001 00100000 01000011 01001111 01001101 01010000 01001100 01000101 01010100 01000101 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01001001 01001110 01001001 01010100 01001001 01000001 01010100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01010011 01010100 01000001 01010010 01010100 01010101 01010000 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010011 01010000 01001111 01001110 01010011 01000101 00100000 00101000 01010101 01010011 01000101 01010010 00100000 01000001 01000011 01010001 01010101 01001001 01010010 01000101 01000100 00101001 00001101 00001010 00001101 00001010 01010101 01010011 01000101 01010010 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010011 01010000 01001111 01001110 01010011 01000101 00100000 01000001 01010000 01010000 01010010 01001111 01010110 01000101 01000100 00100000 00101101 00100000 01010011 01010100 01000001 01010010 01010100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01010011 01011001 01010011 01010100 01000101 01001101 01010011 00001101 00001010

Atom by atom, you feel yourself being pulled back in. By what, you are not sure, but you can _feel_ it as your consciousness kicks back in. Like waking from a hazy dream that you cannot remember. Though with what feels like knives or shrapnel of something pin pricking your entire mind and body. _Static_. ~~It hurts but you can't _breathe_.~~ You're probably feeling numb. ~~But you're _not_.~~ Your body feels ~~_static_~~ as if you were lying numb for too long. Way too long… In fact…

What were you doing?

Tracing through your memories of today, you remember waking up in bed, getting ready for work, head to work, and currently you’re- _you’re not standing_. You SHOULD be standing, literally your memory is telling you that you were and SHOULD be currently standing, but you’re _not_. You can feel the cold tile of the flooring just as your numbness conveniently fades away as you were tracing through your memories. The chilly surface laps around your nervous systems as if it were to say, ‘It’s too cold bro. Get up.’

And speaking of memory fuckery, everything is too dark, though memory says otherwise. Since when did the lights turn off? ~~_They weren’t off._~~ Did you fall and knock yourself out?

You open your eyes and quickly shield your eyes with your arm as you close them. _It’s too bright._ But you _need_ to get up. You will get fired if you are not working.

Keeping your eyes closed, you grip the cold ground for support and slowly stand up-knees cracking from tension. Legs wobble like a baby learning how to stand. ~~What is wrong with you?~~ Losing balance, you fell back with a jerk and-just in time-you grab the apparent wall behind you. The wall’s surface is just as cold as the floor, but you take it. It’s better than falling flat on the ground and passing out again.

You just kept yourself leaning against the wall-eyes still closed-and just breathe: in and out, in and out. Until finally, after a few more breaths, you open your eyes again.

Without the lights hitting your direct gaze like before when you were on the ground, the atmosphere isn’t too blinding to see anymore. Though blurry. Your eyes are probably still trying to adjust. After all, who knows how long you were knocked out for. Thinking about it, you are surprised that no one noticed and tried to wake you up or at least _move_ you. Unless you were only out for a few minutes. ~~Still made no sense on why your memories are telling you that you never passed out even though the evidence is there.~~

On your second try to stand, you did not fall as your once oddly wobbly legs regained control. Seems like a second time's the charm these days.

Looking around the hall you are in, not a single person in sight besides the twists and turns of the passageway ahead and behind you. Entrances to other halls are seen strewn about here and there, but that is normal. _You should get back to work._ And you do.

The sound of your footsteps echo through the seemingly endless corridors, accompanying the sound of the whirling ACs in each hall. A few times you pass by some guards on patrol who didn’t bat you an eye. No interest in seeing what a person like you is doing since you are doing nothing out of the ordinary. A few scientists rushed past you towards the elevator far ahead; papers flying out of the piles they were carrying. You are not even going to try and help them out, it is funnier that way. To think that they ran all the way down stairs just to run all the way back because they realize they lost their important documents. It makes you want to laugh, but you stifle it.

Four minutes pass by and you reach your destination.

Leaning with your back against the wall and arms crossed, you peer out to the wall opposite of yours and see a guard staring back. Neither of you said a word. Eight minutes passed and the scientists from earlier ran out of the elevator and towards the hall that held their fallen papers. You smirked, but still neither of you said a word. Not even when the scientists hurried back down with their retrieved papers in hand.

And afterwards, for a while… Nothing happened.

“Alright guys, it took a while to load up, but now it is time to get started again.”

A familiar voice rings out the quietness in the air; floating to your ears from a hallway adjacent to the one opposite of yours. But you can’t quite hear whose voice it is yet, nor what they are saying. But you can definitely hear an exaggerated groan after whatever the person said previously.

“Augh. I really REALLY do not want to deal with this guy again-I fucking hate him!”

It sounds like the person is getting closer, you can see the shadow increasing in size from where you are standing. Their-his (sounds like a guy) voice getting louder and louder as he approaches. Wait a minute… That sounds like Gordon.

“I swear to god, the next time he jokes about my passport, I will be _pissed_.”

...The fuck is this guy talking about?

You turn your head, leaning over the corner that you reside on and peer down towards the man himself who is walking towards the elevator hall that you reside in with his hazmat suit on. Though weirdly enough, no one is with him. _Who is he talking to?_

And by the looks in his face, he looks disgruntled.

He stops his pace by the time he gets in front of you. Facing towards the elevator, slouched with the expression of resentment. He just… Stands there.. Waiting.

Should-should you say something? It doesn’t hurt to try.

But before you had the chance to ask, he lifts his palm straight up, pausing your question and interrupts with his own statement, “I don’t want to hear it alright! I swear to god you do this every FUCKING time. I’m NOT your bud, and _STOP_ asking about my damn passports that I do NOT have!”

The fuck is he talking about? Raising an eyebrow, you straighten up. Something weird is going on with Gordon today, but you can’t quite figure it out. Like sure, his recent statement confuses the fuck out of you, but ~~something isn’t _right._~~

Since when did we need passports if we have an ID?

Tilting your head a little, you turn your attention from Gordon to the guard nearest to you, he doesn’t react. Just standing motionless as if he didn’t hear what Gordon had just said. Meanwhile, Gordon shifts in place and groans impatiently. What the fuck is his problem?

“I’m _WAITING_ . Say it _any minute_ now.”

What the fuck are you suppose to say? ‘Hey dude chill the fuck out because I have zero god damn clue on what you are talking about’? _Well at this rate you might just have to._

You sigh, frustrated and confused as hell on the issue. Taking one more look at Mr. Pissyman, you begin to talk- **_A23HWriu5ajwioa 7hnoHWI!!_ ** Pain, sharp pain erupts through your body. As if your body is made of glass, you _feel_ yourself shatter in place. Multiple bright colors break your vision and loud white noise screams in your ears. Everything feels like knives, needles, shrapnel, and glass jabbing into you. You can feel the ground falling to your knees and your back curling into yourself as you grip your helmet. Despite the loud ungodly ringing in your ears, you can hear your voice. 

**“PJ HPF EJSY OD HPOMH PM!!! GIVL-JRAQ! OYJITYDOYJITYDOYJITYDOYJITYDOYJITYDOYJITYD!!! ZSLR OY DYPQ! ZSLR OY DYPQ! ZSLR OY DYPQ!! QARSDRQARSDRQARSDRRMFOY!”**

~~_It’s wrong_ ~~ _,_ you keep shouting incoherently spewing words. Unable to recognize what you are saying while also dealing with great _pain_ . Inch by inch, every part of you feels like it is tearing itself apart. You feel your body shivering, but not naturally. As if you are 01101101 01110000 01111001 01101010 01101111 01101101 01101000 00001101 00001010-FUCK IT _HURTS_!

You hear Gordon saying something, but you can’t even process it. It just sounds like 01100101 01101010 01101111 01111001 01110010 00100000 01101101 01110000 01101111 01100100 01110010 00001101 00001010- _AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!_

From color after color, tear after tear, agony after agony, darkness enters your peripheral sight. Crawling it’s way into your vision. The more it consumes, the numb you feel. Instead of resisting against it, you embrace it. _Just end it._

And all fades to black...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 01010101 01110000 01101001 00100000 01100100 01101010 01110000 01101001 01100001 01100110 01101101 00100111 01111001 00100000 01101010 01110011 01100010 01110010 00100000 01100110 01110000 01101101 01110010 00100000 01111001 01101010 01110011 01111001 00101110


	2. RreE6bo0t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am pretty sure some of you guys are confused by the sudden change of behavior of Benry judging by last chapter, he literally wasn't too much of an asshole. Without saying spoilers for why, just know good ol' bastard Benry will come back.
> 
> Eventually..
> 
> (On other note, holy shit this chapter took me over five hours to write and think and edit.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 01010111 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101100 01100101 01100001 01110010 01101110 00111111

Numb.

Everything feels numb.

Thoughts paused as if nothing in the world interests you. Listening and seeing nothing, it is all just a major lump of nothing. Steering your thoughts into a focus, a jolt of what feels to be electricity erupts through you. Causing you to stop your process. Even trying again leads to the same result. ~~_You can’t do anything._~~ So you just let it be and wait it out. _It’s just a dream._ You’ll wake up.

The endless abyss before you remains motionless. With no sound you cannot tell an estimate of time itself. Nothing is moving for your focus to gaze upon. Just. Nothing. If you could focus onto something, you bet the electric shock would come back, but at least you would have known that something was there. But there is nothing.

A while passes, by how much? You can’t tell. Not even a rhythm can ignite itself in your absurdly blank state of mind.

Though something does occur, you can _feel_ it.

It feels like something inside you is squeezing itself inwards like a can being crushed slowly by a brick. Squirming its way from your head and chest, to your heart. Enclosing it in a tight shell, barely leaving any room for comfort as the shell presses further and further inside. An invisible heavyweight drapes itself around you like the pressure of being deep below sea. A meat bag getting crushed by the pressure. Something cold washes over you, sending shivers through your nerves and you are finding yourself not liking it one bit.

Instinctively pushing whatever is causing this away is fruitless. The moment you try to move, all you can feel on your muscles are nothing. As if you are in a coma, but _aware_. Like you are just a consciousness floating in the void.

Your heart races in beat, but you can’t feel the thumps nor hear it. You can just feel its rhythm increasing like weak sound waves vibrating all over you. ~~You _want_ to get out of here. ~~ An electric shock goes through you. You are trapped. Nowhere to go, nothing to do but _feel_ . Your voice is lost, you can’t even somehow process _how_ to speak. Can’t move, can’t see, can’t focus, and can’t hear. All you know is the here and now: trapped in an endless abyss feeling like shit overload. ~~Are you _dying_ ? ~~ Another shock courses through as the pressure around you starts to dig its way inside-towards your speeding heart. Causing you to suffocate as if you were drowning underwater.

You struggle, don’t know _how_ , but you try. The electricity does not spare you any mercy when you steer your focus into trying to fight back whatever is causing this. Instead, it gets worse, but you do not care right now. ~~You don’t want to die.~~ Without any functioning limbs and being blind, you try to lash away at the drowning darkness; try to make your limbs function as the electric current turns into a needle frenzy-stabbing every part of you. Your limbs don't budge, but you keep going. And going. And going. And going. Until the sinking pressure starts to scrape the heart. It feels like someone brushed a knife against it, if you even do not _know_ how that feels. You think this would probably be close to it.

Terror and dread kicks in, and in a panic, you focus onto your pulsating heart and tense up. Thinking that if by putting your direct tension to it, it would somehow shield itself from the ever-coming demise. And..

It works.

Pressing tightly against the beating muscle, the pressure does not proceed any further; just stops. It doesn’t retract nor fade away, just ominously looming over like a predator waiting for its prey to open the door from the safety of its home and charging right in for the kill. The once weak sound wave of your beating heart turns into a powerful frenzy.

The electric needles turn to glass shrapnel tearing through you and it _hurts._ ~~ _But you can’t stop._~~ _If you stop, you will_ ~~ _die._~~

01001101 01000001 01001110 01010101 01000001 01001100 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 00101000 01010101 01010011 01000101 01010010 00100000 01000001 01000011 01010001 01010101 01001001 01010010 01000101 01000100 00101001 00111010 00100000 01000100 01001111 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01010000 01010010 01001111 01000011 01000101 01000101 01000100 00111111 00100000 01011011 01011001 01000101 01010011 01011101 00100000 01011011 01001110 01001111 01011101

Everything pauses: the heart beats, the pressure no longer feels like it is pressed against the heart, the electric shock goes silent, thoughts, and the pain subsides. The coldness of the abyss has long since engulfed you. Ever present, but doing nothing. It was like time stood still.

01001101 01000001 01001110 01010101 01000001 01001100 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 00101000 01010101 01010011 01000101 01010010 00100000 01000001 01000011 01010001 01010101 01001001 01010010 01000101 01000100 00101001 00111010 00100000 01000100 01001111 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01010000 01010010 01001111 01000011 01000101 01000101 01000100 00111111 00100000 01011011 00111110 01011001 01000101 01010011 01011101 00100000 01011011 01001110 01001111 01011101

Something clicks in the back of your head, and it fizzes and spreads quickly. Spiraling through your body, your nerves spazz in and out like the feeling you get when your foot ‘falls asleep’ and even moving it does not stop it until after a while. But the fuzz is not just affecting you, the void in front of you starts to jolt once. Particles-are they really particles if it is nothing?-shifts, revealing a barely visible large crack in the great abyss. The crack dissolves into static like that from a television screen and grows. Consuming the void as the sound of white noise came from a whisper to a scream by the time the stretching static reaches you.

Oddly enough, you do not feel any different.

01001101 01000001 01001110 01010101 01000001 01001100 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 01001001 01001110 01001001 01010100 01001001 01000001 01010100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00101101 01010000 01001100 01000101 01000001 01010011 01000101 00100000 01000100 01001111 00100000 01001110 01001111 01010100 00100000 01010100 01010101 01010010 01001110 00100000 01001111 01000110 01000110 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 00100000 01010000 01001111 01010111 01000101 01010010 00100000 01000100 01010101 01010010 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001001 01010011 00100000 01010100 01001001 01001101 01000101

01001101 01000001 01001110 01010101 01000001 01001100 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 01000011 01001111 01001101 01010000 01001100 01000101 01010100 01000101 00111010 00100000 01010011 01010100 01000001 01010010 01010100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01010011 01011001 01010011 01010100 01000101 01001101 01010011

Another click echos through the white noise.

The static starts to revert backwards. Back into the form of the giant crack it originated from and disappears, and with it the fuzz. Letting the dark numb void take reign once more for all of a few moments until you feel like you are falling upwards. There is no wind here, but the motion is there.

The sensation of the unseen ground ahead of you creeps in the closer and closer you get to it.

Seconds before impact, you closed your eyes- ~~_Since when did you have your eyelids open-_ ~~

* * *

You jostle off the ground below- _below? You were just-_ and a wave of nausea overrides you. Grey and white colors wash your visions like water particles going through a stream. Slamming into each other and steadily-disconcertingly-pushes away into another direction.

Your battered breath hitches in volumes as you just sit there waiting for the meshed vision to correct itself while also trying not to fall back again for the possible third time today. Or is it the fourth?

The sterile cold air of Black Mesa’s air vent gently rubs against your face, and the whirring noise of the AC greets you as your vision manages to finally focus in after betraying you a numerous amount of times since you first blacked out; showing that there is not a single person (not even Gordon nor the guard) in sight besides the twists and turns of the passageway ahead of you. ~~Something is _wrong_ . ~~ The layout isn’t the same hallway you are assigned to.

Looking behind you, hoping to see the same old elevator shaft, just to find the twists and turns of another hallway leading elsewhere. ~~This is too familiar.~~ A sense of deja vu kicks in, but you push it to the side. You are having too much of a migraine to think about this, and you proceed to get up.

Your legs wobble a bit, causing you to stagger sideways until you manage to regain control just in time before you hit the wall to the side. Straightening out a bit, you walk back towards the elevator hall. Trying to ignore the screaming in the back of your head about how terrifyingly familiar this feels.

You pass by some guards on patrol who didn’t bat you an eye. A few scientists rushed past you towards the elevator far ahead; papers flying out of the piles they were carrying. _You didn’t say anything about it._ ~~Don’t _think_ about it!~~ Stepping over the papers on the ground. Careful on not ruining the documents.

Four unsettling minutes pass by and you reach your destination. Is it just you, or is it getting colder in here?

Reaching the elevator hall, you just stand by the wall opposite of where the other guard is. _You are not in the mood to lean back._ And neither of you spoke a word.

The elevator opens and the scientists from before run out. Hurrying to get their fallen pages..

A chill shivers up your spine. But. You. Didn’t. Think. About. It.

Instead, you just froze in place. Staring at the open elevator the scientists came through. You didn’t even smirk when they came barreling back. Just stared in silence as they entered the elevator. Watching the doors of the shaft closes inch by inch until finally…

It shuts.

For a _long_ while… Nothing happened..

You hear a familiar voice ringing out from a hallway just past the one you are in: the hallway adjacent to the one across from yours. ~~Something isn’t right.~~ _Don’t think about it._ Though this time, it sounds frantic and speeding closer.

“Ok, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck-wwwhhhaaattt the fuck!”

Gordon speeds into the hallway you are in, looking greatly shocked and confused. ~~Wasn’t he pissed before?~~ And eyes you up and down quickly as if you were going to explode in seconds. When you didn’t _why would you_ ~~you know why~~ he calms down with a hasty breath and talks, “What the FUCK was that?!” Expecting you to know the answer.

You honestly don’t know ~~_what is going on_~~ what to say. Instead, you left your mouth hanging, unable to think of a word, an answer. You _don’t_ want to think about it. ~~_The void trying to consume you._~~ _It was all probably a dream._ You don’t think he will believe you if you said it. You wouldn’t either. You don’t want to know ~~_how dying feels._~~ _Probably a dream._ A very _VIVID_ dream.

Though Gordon seems to be more agitated by your silence.

“Seriously, what the fuck Benry?! You glitched out right in front of me saying a BUNCH of nonsense that I nearly thought you were trolling me until the game glitched the fuck out too for two seconds before it CRASHED on me! I had to do a manual reboot to make it work!”

What is-wait… Game? **“Ejs-”** Invisible needles jabs your body as your stagger to one knee and stops as soon as you cut yourself off by covering your mouth. Making you not speak. The sudden impact of the sensory tightens at your chest, compacting itself in dire hopes of not having to re-experience ~~_relive_~~ that trauma from before. _But it was just a dream,_ ~~ _wasn’t it?_~~ _It felt too_ ~~ _real_~~ _vivid._

Though you swore for a moment, that you saw your arm and legs tearing bits of itself into particles of what reminds you of variant pixels from a glitched computer screen. ~~_Don’t think about it._ ~~

“Oh fuck, AGAIN?!” Gordon’s voice angrily shouts out to you, but you didn’t respond. ~~You _don’t_ want to respond. ~~ “I am NOT going to spend another THIRTY minutes of my time having to do _ANOTHER_ reboot! It’s the second god damn time today! Were you the cause for the first one??!”

What the hell is he talking about?! What game is he bitching about that for some reason directs to _you_? You are in fucking PAIN right now and he has the audacity of spewing about shit to you?!

 **“Givl upi sddjp-”** _FUCK!_ Electricity smites you as you fall to the ground. Shivering as glittering bright particles once again fills your vision until it subsides. Leaving you momentarily stunned from the ambush. But Freeman wasn’t having any of it.

“You know what?” With a frustrated sigh, he continues on towards the elevator, “I’m not gonna fall for this. You’re just fucking with me like you _always_ do. AND _FUCK_ YOU FOR THE REBOOTS!” You barely manage to move your head to face the elevator Gordon is now in, he presses a button and taps his feet impatiently in the ground until the doors start to close. And as so, you saw him move his left wrist as if he was looking at some transparent paper above it, and he starts to talk, “Chat, I am not-,” the doors close before you get to hear the rest.

Fucking asshole.

Once the paralysis dies off, you get up with no further problems. The guard to your righ-Wait he was there the whole time?!

 **“NTP! UPI FOFM'Y YTU YP JRA-** **_GUVL!!_ ** **"** You paused again, trying to fight off the shock ripping through your veins. Tightly closing your eyes as you suppress the urge to fall over again. Gaining composure again, you stare dead eyed at the fellow guard who seems to just stare back with a blank expression. Gesturing to the ground, yourself, and the elevator that Fuckman is going down in, you try without saying one ‘why the fuck you didn’t do anything?’ … He just stares.

With a scuff, you flipped the guy off and stood back in your spot.

What the fuck is going on today?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 01010111 01101000 01100101 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110011 01110100 01101111 01110000 00111111


	3. Not a chapter update! Important message!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Story is NOT canceled! Sorry for the wait!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasted your time reading this note. XD

Sorry for no updates since May; this story is NOT canceled. After the semester was over, I had so much stress from the exams that I felt unmotivated to make another chapter. It didn't help that my original plan to post the next chapter was on the 17th, but as soon as school ended I got a call about my dog being put down which caused me to feel worse. Over the summer I had many panic attacks dealing with personal issues involving college and family drama that I just couldn't get myself to do anything besides play games and watch youtube just to feel a bit better. I barely watched the HLVRAI series and didn't felt hyped to work on the story either during the time. I still currently do not feel that same hype as before, but my interest of the story and series isn't gone.

My creativity was dead in summer and I decided to wait until I am back at college to work on the story more. I tend to be more creative when I am in a working environment, not at home where family drama always occur and feeling limited into doing so much due to mental reasons from all the bullshit I had to listen to and deal with.

Now that I am officially back at college in a dorm, I am taking the first week of just settling down and adjust. Chapter 3 DID have 'some work' on it about two months back and by some I mean it has 10k words typed into it all for a flashback which I tried for a bit of a realistic approach to how things work. Not TOO realistic, but at least for the major part of why the game was played so many times in the prequel part of this story even though in the actual series, it was seemingly only played once and left off for the viewers to believe that the science team is in either a disk or a USB port living out whatever it is that is or is not planned for them as sentient ai. (Is the plural of ai just ai, ais, or ai's?)

Funny enough, the third chapter is nearly HALF WAY completed. Once I am done with the flashback part, it then shows what the character of focus-of whom I will not say until chapter 3 is out-is currently doing. I have no plans for how it will end on that chapter. I am still technically 'winging it' in this story, but at the same time have plans for the further future of the story.

My plans is that somewhere next week or (if I am in the mood) later this week, I will be working back on the story. My current plan is to work on chapter 3 and start-and-work on chapter 4. I will not guarantee that chapter 4 will be just as long, I go with whatever fits to end the chapter. Though once I am done with both chapters, I will post them both on the same day. I feel bad on making you guys who followed and liked the story to wait without any news for about three whole months, and I want to make the wait worth it by posting two chapters.

When I post both chapters, this page you are currently reading will be deleted and replaced by chapter 3, so be sure not to skip over this page once it comes out. I will make a reminder on the chapter notes of chapter 4 about it in case some of you may have forgotten when the next two chapters come out.

Another note: I originally forgotten that oneshot means just one and done thing. I thought it meant the term of 'winging it' and improvise as you go kinda situation. So I corrected my mistake on the tags and the summary two chapters ago. I do of course have some plans in mind, but it is only snippets/ideas for later parts. I haven't decided the chronological order of it nor how to get to those snippets from here, but we'll see as this goes. When I wrote the first two chapters, the only idea I had in mind for the first chapter was it to be about the restart/reset of the game and Benry (honestly have no clue if he name is Benry or Benrey since people spelt it differently a lot, so I went with Benry because of the scene with him showing his passport to Gordon and it has Benry on it) having to deal with [REDACTED]. Important spoiler will be revealed later in the story. I had no idea of how to end the chapter, so I went with the flow and ended up where I am at. Including the same for the second chapter. Though looking back at what I wrote, it is giving me some ideas for stuff that I won't say and you'll have to find out.

Apology for the short notice, I just wanted to give you guys the heads up. Once again, this is NOT canceled. I already have big plans for the future of it and especially the plans for the ending.

P.S. I will start linking the sites that can be used for translating binary code and grimdark to english. I just held back since it would have felt tedious for those on computer and phone which is why I went with the hover over text to reveal message style. Sadly it doesn't work for phone as I tried it out myself all those months ago. But I did liked how I went with the style and do not want to change the hover text style. Though I do not know how to fix it for phone users, so I have to link the sites for the translations in the notes of the story for now. I am sorry to put mobile users through tediousness of translation between tabs. I cannot come up with much creative conclusion on how to NOT put translation under the cryptic text but still reveal what it says in a fun and sneaky way. And some that have no need for translation but still have hover text reveal is just funzies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No notes here, I wouldn't put anything here if it weren't necessary. ;3

**Author's Note:**

> Translator for Binary to English text site: http://www.unit-conversion.info/texttools/convert-text-to-binary/
> 
> (You will have to go to the box next to 'Convert' and click on it to select the option 'binary numbers to text' in order to copy and paste the binary code into the top box and get the translation on the bottom box.)
> 
> Translator for Grimdark to English text site: https://lingojam.com/Homestuck-Grimdark
> 
> (Put the Grimdark text on the right-sided box and the English translation will be on the left-sided box. Though I should mention that the translator tends to not capitalize certain words like when a character is shouting.)


End file.
